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Donald Trump Has No Attorney General, Is 'Very Sad'  Donald Trump Has No Attorney General, Is 'Very Sad' 

Anyone else feel like today was a zillion hours long? Or is that just the news cycle?

Ivanka Trump Gives Ivanka Trump Treatment to Brett Kavanaugh Allegations  Ivanka Trump Gives Ivanka Trump Treatment to Brett Kavanaugh Allegations 

Ivanka Trump has weighed in on the Brett Kavanaugh sexual assault allegations in her familiar (and routinely ineffective) way, according to a report from Vanity Fair. 

George Bush, Shut Up George Bush, Shut Up

Barf? In my bag? It’s more common than you think…

For Your Consideration: The Royal Trumpet Mushroom  For Your Consideration: The Royal Trumpet Mushroom 

The Royal Trumpet mushroom, also known as the King Oyster mushroom, has a “delicate, nutty flavor with firm texture and long shelf life,” according to Country Fresh Mushrooms, a retail cooperative of independent mushroom farms in the United States.

White House Preparing a Shield of Women to Protect Brett Kavanaugh's Nomination  White House Preparing a Shield of Women to Protect Brett Kavanaugh's Nomination 

The White House is launching a public relations campaign in the hopes of salvaging Brett Kavanaugh’s Supreme Court nomination and ushering in a new era of American conservatism on the high court.

Report: President Has Mushroom Dick  Report: President Has Mushroom Dick 

Stormy Daniels’s presidential tell-all Full Disclosure isn’t out yet, but the Guardian snagged a copy, which is why we now have a working description of Donald Trump’s dick.

Alleged Sexual Predator Undeterred by Allegations of Sexual Misconduct Against Brett Kavanaugh Alleged Sexual Predator Undeterred by Allegations of Sexual Misconduct Against Brett Kavanaugh

Please learn from my mistakes and stay off Twitter today and all days, my friends.

Roma Downy Injured During a Brawl Between Tom Arnold and Mark Burnett at an Emmys Party Roma Downy Injured During a Brawl Between Tom Arnold and Mark Burnett at an Emmys Party

I know that headlines have been resembling Mad Libs for the past two years or so, but one I saw on TMZ early Monday morning is one of the most ridiculous examples in some time. TWO CELEBRITIES: Tom Arnold, Mark Burnett. PAST TENSE VERB: Choked. EVENT: Emmy’s party. RESULT: TOM ARNOLD – MARK BURNETT CHOKED ME AT…

Everyone Gets a Book!  Everyone Gets a Book! 

If you’re in the path of that bich Florence please STAY SAFE!

These 6 Words in Bob Woodward's New Book Will Leave You Speechless  These 6 Words in Bob Woodward's New Book Will Leave You Speechless 

Buried in the index—and largely ignored by the many breathless reviews of Bob Woodward’s Fear: Trump in the White House—are perhaps the six most important words in the entire book:

D.C. Residents Trying to Revoke Trump Hotel's Liquor License Over Donald Trump's 'Amorality' [UPDATED] D.C. Residents Trying to Revoke Trump Hotel's Liquor License Over Donald Trump's 'Amorality' [UPDATED]

A group of Washington D.C. residents are trying to revoke the Trump International Hotel’s liquor license, which would mean that Trump’s cronies could no longer imbibe adult beverages or drunkenly pal around with their racist friends at the venue. It’s so stupid and petty and I love it.

Jared and Ivanka Play Op-Ed Detective  Jared and Ivanka Play Op-Ed Detective 

I too hate it when my enemies are talking publicly about how to bring me down.

I Am so Empowered by the Fact That Trump Thinks the Anonymous Op-Ed Writer Is a Woman I Am so Empowered by the Fact That Trump Thinks the Anonymous Op-Ed Writer Is a Woman

Donald Trump is a man who loves women, particularly how grabbable her pussy is.

At Least We Have Donald Trump on the Record Trying to Pronounce 'Anonymous' At Least We Have Donald Trump on the Record Trying to Pronounce 'Anonymous'

President Donald Trump was holding court at a rally in Montana Thursday evening where he of course tried to pan the anonymous review of him in the New York Times again, only this time it came out extra sloppy.

The Snakes Are Everywhere!  The Snakes Are Everywhere! 

On planes...in the woods...in the White House...

Rudy Giuliani Says He Was Not Asked for Comment on Whether or Not He's a Baby Wearing Diapers Rudy Giuliani Says He Was Not Asked for Comment on Whether or Not He's a Baby Wearing Diapers

Rudy Giuliani, a restless ghoul who haunts the White House, does not trust the New York Times or, for that matter, any piece of text. Must be hard.

'No Way': Melania Reportedly Refused to Appear at Trump's Side Following the Access Hollywood Tape 'No Way': Melania Reportedly Refused to Appear at Trump's Side Following the Access Hollywood Tape

Melania Trump refused to appear with husband Donald Trump in the wake of the infamous Access Hollywood tape, according to Bob Woodward’s book of oh-so-juicy White House intrigue and strife. Mostly strife. And yelling, lots of yelling.

Ivanka Trump and Steve Bannon Reportedly Had a Screaming Match  Ivanka Trump and Steve Bannon Reportedly Had a Screaming Match 

It has been a WILD day in Washington, lemme tell ya...

A Brief Taxonomy of When Protesting Should Be Allowed A Brief Taxonomy of When Protesting Should Be Allowed

Donald Trump, who loves free speech when the speeches are his own, wants to crush dissent again, if you can believe it. “I don’t know why they don’t take care of a situation like that,” Trump said during a Tuesday interview with the Daily Caller about the protesters who interrupted Brett Kavanaugh’s Senate…

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